Guest blog: My experience coaching the Boxing Sisters
Journalist and female fighter Beth McLoughlin recently visited us in Kurdistan to run some coaching sessions for our Boxing Sisters. Here, she writes a guest blog on her experience…
When I won my first boxing fight, I climbed the ropes with happiness. It wasn’t just a sporting victory for me, but the culmination of a journey that helped me get over an abusive relationship. I started to wonder if boxing held some magic ingredient that could help people deal with traumatic events, in a way that talking about them sometimes cannot. The idea for a book was born.
I was desperate to see The Lotus Flower’s Boxing Sisters project in the Rwanga Camp when I found out about it. Like many of us, I grew up hearing that men and boys could benefit from boxing and other combat sports, because it channelled their anger and could help them with their confidence. But what about women and girls like the Yazidis who had been displaced by ISIS? What happened to their rage, the thoughts and memories they couldn’t talk about, their sense of confidence and identity? I felt sure that boxing could play a role in their recovery, but I wanted to see it for myself. I went to run some skills classes and interview the women and girls to find out more.
The Boxing Sisters project proved to me more than I could ever have imagined just how powerful this sport can be. Nathifa, their trainer – who was originally trained by British boxer Cathy Brown – told me that some of the women could barely hold a bottle of water without their hands shaking at first. Now, they approached the heavy bag like prize fighters, calculating each punch with precision and letting their hands, feet – and feelings – fly freely and flow openly. It was a joy to watch.
Beth with Nathifa
I asked one of them what she thought about ISIS. “There are no words for what they did,” she said. It struck me that boxing is also a thing that happens beyond words, in the heat of the moment, when you are not consciously thinking about anything. Trauma can be isolating. Sometimes people are too ashamed to share with others what happened or how they feel. But here in this small cabin, some of that was released, emotions were shared, and connections were once again formed. It seemed to happen effortlessly.
When the women feel physically strong through boxing, this spills over into other areas of their lives, the group’s psychotherapist explained to me. They no longer feel hopeless and defenceless. The past can start to become the past, instead of perpetually present.
Boxing can be a tough sport and I saw great strength among the Boxing Sisters, awe-inspiringly so. It was also one of the most nurturing environments I have ever been in. Behind the gym, a small garden flourished, and I ate delicious green beans that had been plucked that morning.
I was profoundly affected by what I experienced, in what I know is only a tiny part of what the Lotus Flower does. So much so that I broke my vow of journalistic detachment and objectivity quite soundly, and shed a tear as I said goodbye (though hopefully not for the last time). Boxing Sisters should be an international movement.